Hardcore Hillbilly Hip Hop
24 hours are not enough
I've decided that there aren't enough hours in one day. I will be filing a complaint, once I figure out who's in charge of this interstellar carnival ride.
I have close to a million plans for my art, most of which wait humbly until I wheedle an ounce of free time. However, some of them are not so patient and have begun stabbing me with their wee shivs.
Ten years from now, I will either be a bloody mess or a neglectful parent.
I'm not kidding. I've meet and watched artists' kids. They're proud of their parents and are able to communicate, but they live in different worlds. I always see resentment, distance, and a hint of sadness on the kids faces. Artists, of all kinds, are very selfish people.
I'm not excluding myself from that. I've grossly neglected my friends, because after family and art, I have nothing and no time left. As I'm typing this, my fevered baby is in my lap, clinging to my neck and my 9yr old is dancing around me, flying stuffed animals in between myself and the screen. I have one free hand to type, sort of.
Hell, I can barely find time to take a shower each day. Even the depression demon, which I have been fighting my whole life, gets only a handful of days out of the year at this point. You REALLY don't have time when you are too busy to have adversaries.
I would love to be able to be content just with my family. I love being a mom. Unfortunately, when I push off my art for too long, the anxiety attacks start anew.
If I bought into the "one being controlling the universe" idea, I am pretty sure that this god would be "neglectful parent-artist of the universe." I mean, sculpt this amazing universe and then strand us all on it to kill each other and starve to death? Yep, sounds like an artist.
It also sounds like my complaint will be ignored.
I have close to a million plans for my art, most of which wait humbly until I wheedle an ounce of free time. However, some of them are not so patient and have begun stabbing me with their wee shivs.
Ten years from now, I will either be a bloody mess or a neglectful parent.
I'm not kidding. I've meet and watched artists' kids. They're proud of their parents and are able to communicate, but they live in different worlds. I always see resentment, distance, and a hint of sadness on the kids faces. Artists, of all kinds, are very selfish people.
I'm not excluding myself from that. I've grossly neglected my friends, because after family and art, I have nothing and no time left. As I'm typing this, my fevered baby is in my lap, clinging to my neck and my 9yr old is dancing around me, flying stuffed animals in between myself and the screen. I have one free hand to type, sort of.
Hell, I can barely find time to take a shower each day. Even the depression demon, which I have been fighting my whole life, gets only a handful of days out of the year at this point. You REALLY don't have time when you are too busy to have adversaries.
I would love to be able to be content just with my family. I love being a mom. Unfortunately, when I push off my art for too long, the anxiety attacks start anew.
If I bought into the "one being controlling the universe" idea, I am pretty sure that this god would be "neglectful parent-artist of the universe." I mean, sculpt this amazing universe and then strand us all on it to kill each other and starve to death? Yep, sounds like an artist.
It also sounds like my complaint will be ignored.
1 Comment
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Comment by Rose on October 7, 2008 at 2:19pm - I agree with you! ---Rose
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